It’s frustrating to be clueless and embarassing to have it pointed out to you. But reassuring to be with others that are just as clueless as yourself. Well… maybe.

I was at the car repair shop the other day with my friend L. The guy behind the counter was married. I noticed his ring, because I think that wearing rings and doing manual labor is a dangerous proposition. I was surprised to see it in a car repair shop. That’s about as far as my thinking got as I was focused on how much the repairs might cost me.

After we left L. said to me that the guy was trying to flirt with me. I was surprised. I had no idea and had totally NOT noticed it.

Both friends L. and A. confirmed that they’ve seen that behavior in me repeatedly in the past. A guy shows interest and I just don’t even register that he’s doing anything other than the most professional behavior in relation to me.

Fast forward a month. Out to dinner with “T.” a “professional” friend of MSO’s. T. has on a wedding ring yet spends most all of the evening touching MSO’s arm, shoulder and head. I tell him how inappropriate it was and he says “I didn’t even notice that.”

I guess both of us are clueless. How embarassing.

I wonder if it’s that both of us have this hopeful optimism that we want to think the best of other people and so we ignore or don’t register behavior that would indicate otherwise. Or that we see the signs, warning signs etc. and don’t want to deal with them. Don’t want to see that someone would behave like that when they’re married.



~ by mud on June 6, 2007.

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